Having a word jam is probably the saddest thing for me right now.
I have no inspiration. I can't just grab my camera and go...I can't just sit here and type out a novel...Where has my mind gone to?
I think it's because of money. When it all comes down to it...it's all got to do with money. I would love to just give prints of my favorite photos to everyone in this world. I would love to just stand on a busy street and throw a hundred photos into the air...and wait for them to drop into the hands of someone who needs a work of joy. But, alas, I need money...so I sell my work.
People keep bringing up our economy in front of me...that's all I seem to be hearing about...it scares me so much :( I don't like thinking of the future right now, because all I can think about is money, and how horrible it is.
I hate how much people rely on money. I hate how much it defines us. I know and understand how much we need it to survive in this day in age.
I feel no inspiration because of the weight of the world on me right now. The weight of paying for college all by myself...gripping onto the lifeline of my student loans. I would love to just quit it and live my life as a self-taught photographer...I learn better on my own anyways.
BUT, what would my family think? How could I even try to find a job nowadays without a college degree? I'm not special. I'm a nobody.
Well, I know I'm not a nobody to the people in my life. But, when it comes to others...those strangers on the street who I would bring joy...I am a nobody. Just another face in this depressing world.
But, that's not what God wants us to do. He is so much a part of my life. I have been praying a lot more lately, because of money...and a lack of it. I have been praying that He will take care of me and the man I love, and I know that He is listening :)
Maybe someday, if I'm able, God will grant me my wish. He will allow me to find some spare change in order to print off 100 photos. I will stand on a roof of a building overlooking a crowded gathering of people. Maybe they will be about to listen to a jazz concert or maybe it's a gathering for a motivational convention. I will stand on that roof, and let the wind take my photos and blow them all away to the ones who need happiness...a photo to brighten their day.
"How unrealistic!" Some might say...
With God, all things are possible
With God, I have strength
With God, I find the will to write in a Word Jam
With God, I have found love in the smallest places
With God, I am me.
I love you, and you love me.
I want to inspire you.
End of uninspired jibberish. Maybe soon I will have more to write about.
P.S. - I am very excited to be selling my prints on my Facebook page. I want you to know about it!
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=151094034969373
I really do like this.
ReplyDeleteAnd I know where you're coming from, and how you feel.
It's awful.
But you seem to be making the best of it, staying positive.
And that's one of the many things I love about you<3
I just saw this comment now, and even though it is late, I want to just say that I love you :) A lot. I hope we can meet someday, dear. Because you are one of my favorite people on this planet.
ReplyDelete