Rhythm of Love

Sometimes, I love to listen to this song and dance around my house <3
Happy Day :)

Words from the Saddened

Sadness

Something so common in this world. I have been feeling so alone lately. Even those closest to me have hurt me so much...who can I trust? Who can I turn to?

There is only one.
He is my hero and one true friend and father.
and I love Him.

I have been thinking a lot lately. Probably too much, to be in fact.
I pray for others, I pray for strength, I pray for knowledge to do the right thing.
Living life here on Earth is hard.
Sometimes....I just wish that God could float me away to heaven....I wish that so badly.

But, then my conscious reminds me that I have so much still here for me. I would be leaving too much behind...too many people questioning why I left so early.

Sadness

A word and a feeling very difficult to overcome.
I meet new people every day, and sometimes I can just feel the sadness seep off of them.
I want to help them all.
But, where would I start?!
The world is very cruel.

So I turn them to God. Or, I try to. Because only He will truly know what to do about this horrible word/feeling. Only He has the answers we so desperately wish for.

Anyway, end of sadness rant/depressing blog post.

<3
Pour Me Out

My Obsession

I have an obsession with how people think. What goes on in the mind of a drug addict? What is a person thinking about while they are cheating on their spouse? Why do people turn to selling their bodies when times get rough? 

What is it like to have a real human being growing inside of your womb?

What is the biggest worry of a millionaire? 

Why do we make bad choices?

Why do we make good choices?

If I wasn't so set in photography, I know that I would find myself following the path to become a psychologist. I am a people-watcher. I like to sit in a cafe while drinking coffee, indie music softly playing in my ears, while I sit and sketch the people around me. None of my sketches are very good, but they make me feel something. Something much bigger than myself.


I recently bought a CD from a band that means a lot to me. I used to be in a rock band...I watched the party life go on all around me. I was not tempted to partake, but I constantly watched, listened, and analyzed everything that went on. Often with a puzzled look on my - what they liked to call - "innocent" face. Maybe it's better to be innocent though. I would like to think so. 

Nikki Sixx is the lead singer in the band Sixx AM. I read his first book, "The Heroine Diaries," which was an autobiography of the life of a rock star. The things that I read broke my heart, and even sometimes made me feel sick. How could someone do so much harm to their body and still live? How could someone find happiness in a life they themselves describe as "empty"...? 

These are the thoughts spinning through my head on this summer evening. I sit and listen to my new Sixx AM CD, and try to learn more about regret. Maybe I can learn the easy way from people who were not so lucky...

Maybe I Can Understand

Beautiful lyrics. Beautiful rock melodies (no, not metal). If you are like me - and have an obsession with learning how people think - then maybe you would like to explore something that is just a little out of your comfort zone too.

Skin by Sixx AM

(This is not my video. I do not take credit for it.)

You Are Not Your Skin

Fragility

No photo tonight. I thought that I would post a music link by City and Colour instead.


I'm feeling very fragile lately. Sensitive and fragile. The strong winds of Kansas could blow me away. My life is passing by, and sometimes I get discouraged. I know that I have to keep trying, though. Even though I fail, I have to get back up. I have to do it for the ones who truly believe in me. I have to do it for the unspoken inspirations in my life, for those whom I love so dearly, for those who lead me to better days.


And, I have to do it for myself. To prove that I am stronger than what they give me credit for. Every time I fall down; every time someone hurts me...God, give me strength to turn the pain into good <3


City and Colour, everyone :)

(This is not my image. I "Google searched" this one)


Save Your Scissors

Growing Up...

I had to be there for my little sister last night…she fell and gashed her forehead and it was bleeding. I kind of  freaked out but I tried really hard to hide it because she was so scared and she kept whimpering. I had to hold a washcloth to her forehead and ended up getting blood on me. I’m so squeamish…I felt so helpless and weak.

Times like these…make me feel so small. I called my mom and she was home in ten minutes. I was praying the whole time. It wasn’t even that big of a deal; my sister will be alright (maybe a few stitches). But, it just makes me wonder if I’m ready for this adult stuff…I held my ground and didn’t cry or get sick…until after my mom took her away to the minor emergency room. Then, I hid in my closet and bawled my eyes out.

I have so much love for my sister, and hate to see her in pain. It’s so hard to be strong in times like these…but I knew that I had to be. For her.

Too much thinking. Lots of Praying. Much to learn.
(Image below is not mine. I "Google Searched" it.)

This song: <3 Listen
The Cave